I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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