Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
