Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
