the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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