Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
