K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
