Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
two words...techno handjob
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
