eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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