I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize
