i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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