I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I cut my penus on the lid.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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