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• (443): View more from Maryland

  why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that only happened once.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  did you know it's going to storm tonight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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• (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out

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