i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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