So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize