so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize