a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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