Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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