i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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