he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
