Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
