I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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