you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
