There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
