Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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