just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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