If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
