I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
