Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
