i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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