he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize