Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
