oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You have to summon your inner elephant
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
