i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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