time to smoke my breakfast
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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