I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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