dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.