He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
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Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics