I bet he comes in French.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
