were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
