Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
