I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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