addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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