how can u be prego again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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