the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
