Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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