now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
