This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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