I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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