I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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