I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
