these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
