i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
