What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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