i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
