I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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