I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
