jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
