Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
