i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I touched a dick in church today
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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