Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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