youre lurking in front of me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize