i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
