No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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