I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize