He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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