My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
