Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
