sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
