So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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