u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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