K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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