fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
