More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
