she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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