There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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